Being a parent is difficult and can be made even more so when considering your child’s exposure to the threats in an online world that can feel out of your control. Many of the most important aspects of shared custody and co-parenting fall under “legal custody.” Broadly speaking, legal custody means, “the right and responsibility to make decisions with important and long-term implications for a child’s best interests and welfare.”[i] These decisions traditionally include medical, educational, and religious decisions; for example, deciding where a child will attend school or what vaccines they will receive. In an ever-changing world, the kind of issues under the purview of legal custody will naturally shift and expand further than these basic principles.
As society moves further into a digital age, parents may start to face questions surrounding their child’s use of the internet and social media. These questions can take many forms, including:
- What age should my child have an online presence?
- What kind of parameters do I need to place on my child’s internet usage?
- What age should my child be allowed to have their own social media account?
- What if my teenager is creating accounts without my knowledge?
- What if others are posting photos of my child on social media without my permission?
These are common and reasonable fears for parents to experience, especially when parents share joint legal and physical custody of their minor children with another parent or party. The final question that parents may come to after all these considerations is, “What can I do?”
The relationship between legal custody and making decisions for children regarding social media is not clearly set out in North Carolina law, mainly because this is a relatively novel issue. The standard to apply is that set out in the definition of legal custody – do decisions surrounding a child’s social media usage have “important and long-term implications for [the] child’s best interests and welfare[?]”
Courts have begun to include provisions on social media, phone, and internet usage in custody orders. In 2024, a North Carolina court ordered that “pictures of the minor child on any social media site” should be limited.[ii] This indicates that decisions about a child’s social media usage rise to a level that is properly addressed under legal custody rather than merely day-to-day decisions. Determining how to properly address the issue depends on the status of your custody case.
In some circumstances, parties may be co-parenting a minor child without a custody order in place. Without an order in place, each parent has equal legal custody, and each can make major decisions for the child regardless of the other parent’s opinion. In this instance, the concerned parent may file an action for custody and seek either primary legal custody (giving them the ultimate decision on whether the child may use social media) or asking for provisions in the custody order that address social media use. Due to the high burden necessary to establish that it is in the best interests of the child for one parent to have primary legal custody over the other, the second of these two options may be the most productive to address a specific issue such as social media.
In circumstances where parents have joint legal custody as set out by a prior order, the parent seeking to implement standards on the child’s social media and internet usage could file a motion to modify the custody order seeking either a change in legal custody (granting them primary legal custody) or to implement standards for social media usage in a modified order. To bring a motion to modify an existing custody order, the movant must allege that there has been a substantial change in circumstances that affects the best interests of the minor child.
Because courts often grant parents equal legal custody (absent extenuating circumstances that impact the best interests of the minor child), asking the court to implement a custody provision governing social media and internet usage rather than modify and grant one parent primary legal custody could be a more effective solution in many circumstances.
The internet and social media are wonderful tools to use with your children for learning and growth; however, struggling with placing limitations on social media when a co-parent does not see the potential dangers is confusing and difficult to navigate. If you are struggling with how to handle co-parenting, shared custody, and your child’s social media usage, call our office for a consultation today!
If you are battling for legal custody, the attorneys at Collins Family & Elder Law Group can help.
