If you have minor children and have not yet selected a guardian, you are not alone. Many parents postpone this important decision, waiting for an ideal solution to appear. Or perhaps you and your partner cannot agree on who would be the best fit. The truth is that:
Done is Better than Perfect … especially when it comes to protecting your children’s future.
The bottom line is that if you do nothing, the decision about who will raise your children if something happens to you will be left to a court to decide. While judges take an oath to uphold their duties, faithfully, impartially, and justly — the judge does not know your family dynamics, understand your values, and does not know your children.
There may never be a perfect solution, but there is certainly a solution that is far better than leaving your children’s care to someone you did not choose. Many parents justify their delay in naming guardians by rationalizing that if they avoid thinking about something unpleasant, it will never happen. If that were true, there would be no need for seatbelts, football pads, or regular check-ups. Preparing for the unimaginable is part of our job as parents – which includes naming guardians for minor children to address the remote chance that something unfortunate happens to both parents.
Fortunately, choosing a guardian does not have to be overwhelming. Below are seven (7) to make the process of nominating guardians for your children straightforward:
Step 1: Brainstorm
Sit down with your spouse or partner and each make a list of every person you could imagine raising your children. Include people you know, like, and trust, and those your children know, like, and trust. Do not worry about whether they would agree or where they live — just get the names on a list. It can be helpful if each of you make your lists separately and then compare them. Seeing where you differ and where agree can spark important conversations and bring to light considerations you might not have thought of on your own.
Step 2: Identify Your Values
Next, identify the values that matter most to you in raising your children. These could include:
- Stability
- Emotional intelligence
- Educational priorities
- Discipline
- Faith
- Family relationships
- Lifestyle
- Health
- Finances
- Sibling relationships/existing children
Rank these values 1-10 in order of importance. This list will become your compass when evaluating potential guardians and will help guide conversations with potential guardians about the role.
Step 3: Your Top Three
Compare each name on your list to your ranked values. Consider who best reflects the priorities you have identified. Take time to image real life situations and how they would handle hectic school routines, disciplinary issues, and their willingness to incorporate some of your family traditions into their lives. Once you have reviewed the list, rank your top three choices.
Step 4: Reality Check
Even when a person seems ideal, it is important to evaluate practical realities. Ask yourself:
- Does my child know and trust this person?
- Do they live close enough to maintain my child’s routines and relationships?
- Are they at a realistic life stage to raise children?
- Do they share my values?
- How are they in emergencies?
- What is their parenting of existing children like?
- Are they financially responsible?
- Would they be willing to accept this role?
- How would they manage multiple children?
- What is their support network like?
Being honest about these practical considerations how can prevent challenges later and ensure that your child will have stability in their daily lives should the unfortunate occur.
Step 5 – Practical Love
Many parents naturally consider a beloved grandparent as guardian — someone deeply trusted and emotionally connected to their child. While this choice can be comforting, factors such as age, health, and long-term availability may make day-to-day caregiving challenging. Often, it is more practical to name someone younger who is better equipped for everyday parenting as the primary guardian, while still honoring grandparents through alternate roles or by including them in your instructions about family traditions and values.
Guardian decisions can also create tension among relatives and friends. Before finalizing your choice, consider sharing with close family and friends that you are naming your children’s guardian — a step in responsible adulting. You can clarify that your decision likely won’t be acted upon unless something unfortunate happens to both parents, and that your focus was on practical considerations rather than favoritism, even though everyone’s relationship with your family is deeply valued. Having this honest conversation can help preserve family harmony while safeguarding your child’s emotional and practical needs.
Step 6: Immediate Guardians
Many parents overlook one of the most important aspects of guardianship — temporary guardians. If you are in an accident or otherwise unreachable, who will care for your children until permanent guardians can arrive? Temporary guardianship documents allow trusted local friends or relatives to take immediate custody of your children to avoid the possibility of law enforcement or child protective services becoming involved, even temporarily.
Step 7: Fund Your Plan
Naming guardians is one part of the process. Providing financial support is another. Your estate plan should include clear instructions about how your assets, life insurance, and other resources will be used for your children’s benefit. It may make sense to appoint one person as guardian of the person and another as trustee or guardian of the estate to separate caregiving and financial responsibilities. This helps prevent potential conflicts and ensures that money is managed wisely. If you need a referral to a trusted advisor, please reach out!
Final Thoughts:
If you have not named a legal guardian for your minor children or your estate plan is incomplete — taking action today is far better than leaving it to chance. By scheduling a consultation with Collins Family and Elder Law Group, we can create a legally sound guardianship plan in place. Best of all, you can complete this process in just one week!
If you are in need of assistance, the attorneys at Collins Family & Elder Law Group can help.
